🏆 Last Stanley Cup Victory
May 2, 1967
Back when dinosaurs roamed the earth and hope was still alive
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📊 Suffering Statistics
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💸 Marner Freedom Counter
Time since the $11M man escaped
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Finally free from the pressure! 🎉
👴 Generational Trauma
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🏆 Other Success Stories
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Teams That Won Instead
🎭 Current Mood
Still waiting... 🍃
🏅 "Achievements" Since 1967
🎯 Perfected the art of playoff collapses
💰 Became world's most expensive disappointment
📈 Mastered the false hope business model
😭 Created a multi-generational trauma bond
🤡 Provided endless content for comedy shows
⚰️ Buried more dreams than a cemetery
🌍 Life Happened While We Waited
🚀 12 moon landings (and counting)
💻 Internet was born, grew up, had kids
📱 We went from rotary phones to smartphones
🇨🇦 Canada changed its flag twice
🎮 Video games became a $180B industry
🏒 Every other Original Six team won multiple cups